Have you ever experienced being in a relationship with someone who just seemed to think faster than you or was a far better planner? If so, it’s not a bad thing, it’s not your fault and you’re not alone! This experience is very common for neurodivergent people, and the difference in our thinking may be best explained by a concept from the film industry called “Frames Per Second”.

At the movies, the standard rate at which film moves past a flickering light to create a moving image is 24 frames per second. This rate creates a fluid, seamless movie for the human eye to enjoy.  In contrast, we’ve all seen stop-motion films where large construction projects are completed over a longer elapsed time condensed into only a few seconds of film. We’ve also seen slow-motion films where, for instance, a bullet bursts a balloon that slowly retracts upon itself. Stop-motion films use a lower frames-per-second rate, while slow-motion films use a higher frames-per-second rate. So, what does this have to do with ADHD and Autism?

A flip book demonstrates frames per second

Your brain has a unique frames-per-second (FPS) rate for processing information, and the FPS rate may depend on the activity at hand. If you are neurodivergent (i.e. if you have ADHD, Autism, or other sensory processing differences), then you probably have a higher FPS rate than most other people. Regardless of neurodivergence, your unique FPS rate likely makes you very good at some things and perhaps not so good at other things. For instance, some people can read very quickly and process detailed written information fluidly and with great comprehension while others struggle and have to repeat pages while reading. Likewise, some people might synthesize the highly nuanced non-verbal communications in any given conversation more rapidly and effectively while their counterparts struggle to understand at this same level. For simplicity’s sake, let’s look at the process of making plans for the future.

Here’s the scenario: It’s February and your partner asks you what you’d like the family to do this Summer. If you’re a high FPS person, your brain probably starts thinking methodically about the many things that need to be done leading up to the Summer. You might consider the assignments you need to complete at work first, the projects you want to do around the home in the Spring, and the financial obligations that could impact your Summer travel plans.  And if you’re a fellow ADHDer, you’ll probably spin out down some rabbit trail distraction before you actually complete the necessary line of thinking! BUT, you’re still putting in lots of work – even more work than your partner – by thinking about the question.  There are simply more “frames” to consider in your process before getting to the Summer portion of your plan.  In the meantime, of course, your neurotypical partner is already picking out a swimsuit and sunhat on Amazon because they’ve determined that they want to go to the beach for 6 days beginning on July 17, flying Delta. (Sound familiar? No? Just me?)

This concept has been best articulated by a highly qualified Instagram content creator known as “Dr. Zee” in this short Video. Her explanation clarified quite a few things for me about why I’ve always seemed to be behind the curve when it came to planning. Simply put, I’ve been paying so much attention to the little things that I didn’t have the bandwidth to look further ahead. In other words, I have a higher FPS processing rate than most of the people I hang around. I experience the details of the moments or mental processes I am in with a higher degree of evaluation and awareness, making it more difficult for me to imagine being months into the future. We even have a joke in my house about how no one should ever ask me the dreaded question: “What do you want to eat next week?” I just go blank when I’m asked to plan mundane details like this. It’s impossible! As the video explains, my brain looks several frames into the future, but that doesn’t span enough time to get me to next Tuesday’s supper plan.

To be clear, our individual FPS rates impacts us both in the present moment and in the long term.  In fact, having a higher FPS rate makes someone better at synthesizing detailed information in the moment. Having a lower FPS rate makes someone better at executing long-term plans. As discussed in the video link above, I may make a few trips to gather the necessary elements for a cup of coffee, whereas my partner would effortlessly grab those elements and other things on their way to a longer term goal. BUT, when it comes time to decipher the nuanced facial cues or complex patterns of behavior in a person’s overall affect, I will be much more informed than my partner would be. Both high and low FPS rates have their advantages and disadvantages.

The most important thing to keep in mind when thinking about the differing FPS rates in your intimate relationship is to maintain respect for the strengths presented by each person’s rate. If I respect my partner’s lower FPS rate, I’m going to ask them to help me plan or to help me organize complicated tasks. Likewise, respect for a faster FPS rate looks like asking that person to handle intricate and complex small tasks like math, academic writing, or specialized cleaning. Identifying my partner’s strengths helps me trust them more, and it helps them feel more needed and valuable. 

I hope this post has been informative and helpful. I specialize in working with creative professionals across Georgia who have Anxiety, ADHD, and/or High Functioning Autism. If you’d like to speak more about these or other types of issues, please give me a call at 770 615 6300. You can also schedule a session and learn more about my practice at www.stillwatercounselingatl.com I offer telehealth and in-person sessions. I am in-network with Aetna insurance and Lyra EAP, and I provide paperwork for filing out-of-network claims.